


My dearest one

by GreatMarta



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Family, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-31
Updated: 2015-01-31
Packaged: 2018-03-09 21:16:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3264620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreatMarta/pseuds/GreatMarta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Valka addresses her late husband. Mostly a letter about her experience as a single-grandmother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My dearest one

My dearest one, my darling dear.

You will be happy to know I have completed yet another copy of the Book of Dragons. We now have four copies of the actual book and four fake copies. Only a handful of people know which is which. Each copy is kept in a different shelter. Shall there be a fire, an earthquake, or a disaster of any kind, we are certain that at least one copy will prevail.

The original, the first edition with my updates, is stored in the basement you dug underneath our family house. I doubt anybody will find it underneath those five sacks of potatoes.

Our people look up to me now. Their most knowledgeable dragon trainer, the last remaining adult of the Haddock family. There is always somebody in need of help, a conflict to solve, businesses to settle. Minor disasters happen occasionally. Nothing I couldn’t deal with. Which doesn’t mean I am not falling flat on my face at the end of the day.

But then, I am getting exactly what I deserve. I’ve been missing throughout your life. I have neglected my husband and child. I did have my very solid reasons, I sincerely thought I was doing what was best for all of us. But I did leave you. I left you to raise our son alone. To manage the household alone. All these years you were deprived of the comfort you longed for. Thus I had to lose you. And suffer exactly the way you had to suffer. I understand and accept this sentence. I just regret that our grandchildren have to suffer along with me.

Our daughter-in-law passed away in childbirth. Risk is always involved in bringing a new life to the world, even more so with twins. Still, her death was a tragedy.

Hiccup found death in the battlefield, leading the United Barbaric Forces against a particularly powerful Nest Queen. The beast was dying when she swung her tail at Hiccup and Toothless for the last time. Hiccup chose to jump over it, leaving Toothless to fly below. They would have avoided it, if it wasn’t for the extendable spike at the end of it.

The wound itself wasn’t lethal. Hiccup could have survived this. Alas, the spike had been poisonous.

His death was so unnecessary. A sheer misfortune. He could have made it out alive. If only he had a little bit more luck. Alas, the consequences of the smallest oversight can be painfully severe. 

So here I am. Raising Hiccup’s children the way you had to raise Hiccup.

I am not completely alone. Astrid’s parents help a lot. So does Gobber. One of Hiccup’s friends, Ruffnut, nursed our grandchildren along with her own baby. Blastrid and Throwup are taken care of. But they will never know their parents. And I will have to explain to them why. 

I look at them. I see how they change with each passing day. I notice traits of their parents and grandparents manifest themselves in their looks and behavior. I witness the first glimpse of focus in their eyes. Experience their first attempts at grabbing my fingers. Hear their first words.

The experience is fascinating. Heart-wrenching. And awarding. I have missed out on raising a child with you. Only now do I realize exactly what I lost.

I do wonder, my dear. How painfully much Hiccup must have reminded you of me. How hard it must have been to see him take after me. Did you find comfort in having a living reminder of your crazy wife by your side? Was your experience in this regard similar to mine? I cannot even begin to wonder. I just want to apologize to you even more.

If it was you who survived, would it have been easier this time round? Harder?

Our grandchildren will never comprehend what a great man you were. My tales could never do you justice. Same is true for Hiccup and Astrid. Fortunately, the whole village will back me up.

Gobber speaks of you. Of our son. Often. Claims things were hard, but you managed to be happy. Happy as you could be. There was pain, but they were also joys. Many adventures and misadventures. Through it all you did your best.

Even in your death you teach me how to live. Guide me through the hardships. Give me strength to face each day. Help me become a better person.

There was life for you after the tragedy. There shall also be life after tragedy for me.

Sometimes I dream of our family. I see all of us, dancing in the Mead Hall. You and me, Hiccup and Astrid, Astrid’s parents. Blastrid and Thorwup are jumping around, clapping. Gobber signing out of key. Dragons frolicking in the background. Then I wake up and wish I hadn’t. But only until the little ones begin to make noise. 

I love you more and more each day. I love Hiccup with all my heart. I love dragon like crazy. But the love I have for Blastrid and Throwup is so strong it doesn’t have a name.

Perhaps we will get to be together in Valhalla. But until we’ve chased our dreams this far, I am going to concentrate on the life I have left to live. Life full of sorrows and delights, of despair and hope. I shall watch over the village you and Hiccup cherished. I shall raise our little ones the way I should have raised Hiccup. If loneliness finds me, I shall wrap myself in the memories of you. And bravely walk forwards, holding the hands of Blastrid and Throwup.

I am happy, Stoick. As happy as I could be. I hope you won’t mind waiting for me. I do intend to live a very long life. I have all the reasons to do so.


End file.
